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If you are currently suffering from hemorrhoids you probably can’t believe that anyone can see a lighter side at this time, these embarrassing, rather disgusting, very uncomfortable and often painful swollen veins can only be all bad at this time, being the butt of a hemorrhoid joke just adds insult to injury.

It is said that you know you’re middle–aged when hemorrhoid jokes stop being funny.

However the following are just some lighter side stories that may help you feel better. or, at least, make you understand that your affliction has a wide interest and that you are in the company of many famous people.

The Hemorrhoids are a rock band. Imagine the introduction ladies and gentlemen put your hands – er, cheeks – er, no, hands together for the pride of Lawrence, Kansas, the Hemorrhoids Although their mothers must be very proud of them I’m sure that, depending on your age and musical appreciation, when you listen to them on YouTube, it will be a close call whether the band or the condition is more painful.

Hemorrhoids are part of a song lyric written by Frank Zappa, about among other things, a groupie’s hemorrhoids.

But at least it’s not the only subject of the song. a folk musician, by the name of Peter Cross actually wrote a whole song about hemorrhoids. His fans, who probably aren’t suffering from hemorrhoids, regularly request the song. If you are interested you can find the lyrics on his web site. and you can sing along

Bleeding hemorrhoids made at least two classical composers miserable. consider this diary entry from the great Giacomo Meyerbeer from 1851: Friday 23 may. I suffered all day from a cramping, diarrhetic condition that affected me badly, as did back and side pains. I suspect that these symptoms, which so often recur, are a sign of hemorrhoids.

Not much progress had been made on hemorrhoid treatment as, about a half-century later, Gustav Mahler had them, too. (1900) also brought Mahler’s resignation from the (Vienna) Philharmonic and a frightening hemorrhoid-related incident in which he lost a great deal of blood.

According to a review hemorrhoids are also a real problem for drummers. Hours and hours of sitting on a little stool and pounding away at the drums. plus all that constipating bar food is altogether not a good combination for hemorrhoids

Beyonce’s little sister, Solange, Tweeted that she doesn’t know how to spell hemorrhoids. she probably wouldn’t make it to the second round of the Spelling Bee, and if she needed hemorrhoid treatment, she probably wouldn’t want to sit down when she lost

Hemorrhoid ointment is featured in a Jimmy Buffett novel, Where is Joe Merchant? a rock star goes missing and his hemorrhoid-ointment heiress sister wants to know for sure if he’s dead. really I didn’t make this bizarre stuff up – Jimmy Buffett did

If you have hemorrhoids, you have something in common with some very famous people. Napoleon Bonaparte, the French Emperor, had such severe hemorrhoids that he couldn’t sit on his horse and command his army at the Battle of Waterloo Historians may debate that the weather, overconfidence, and miscommunication with field generals caused Napoleon’s defeat – but hemorrhoid sufferers know better. who knows how history may have been changed if Napoleon didn’t have piles?

George Brett, the star player of the Kansas City Royals, unfortunately had a severe hemorrhoid flare up which caused him to miss parts of the 1980 World Series with the Phillies Fans were surprised, because George was only 27 at the time. some even offered home remedies ranging from eating orange peel and whole wheat to applying Listerine to the hemorrhoids Needless to say, George opted for surgery.

Even American presidents have not been immune from this condition and in 1992, President Jimmy Carter underwent surgery to get rid of his hemorrhoids.

And finally, besides an anthrax infection, a cut eyeball, kidney trouble, a torn groin muscle and a broken arm from a car accident, Ernest Hemingway, the famous writer also suffered from hemorrhoids

But(t) If your hemorrhoids are past being a joke, or you can’t see the lighter side, there are fortunately a number of ways in which you can get relief from the symptoms and also find some completely natural cures.

EDMOND — After a rocky start, the Edmond Santa Fe Wolves cruised to a 10-2 win Tuesday night against Yukon. A walk, two singles and a wild pitch put two Miller runs across in the top half of the first frame before starting pitcher Maddie Martin settled in and struck out two batters in a row to end the inning. from there on in, Martin would shut out Yukon, allowing a total of four hits and the two earned runs in her seven innings of work. She walked one and struck out eight. In their half of the opening inning, the Wolves got a one-out triple from Kayley Humann, but failed to capitalize, stranding her at third. Humann went 2-for-5, drove in one and scored three runs. Santa Fe scored five runs in the third inning on an RBI single by Martin, an RBI single by Carly Cowan and a two-run double by Jobie Heath. Santa Fe added four more runs in the bottom of the fifth, including runs scored by Catherine Rodarm and Siara Price to start the inning. Martin and Heath each had three RBIs. Carly Cowan went 3-for-3 with two RBIs.

The Wolves wore pink jerseys Tuesday for Win-Win Week. Schools across the state worked to increase cancer awareness and raise money to help in the fight for a cure. The fifth-ranked Wolves will visit no. 6 Edmond Memorial at 4 p.m. Wednesday.

The first time I heard about bartaco, it was as part of a rant.

Two of my friends went by not too long after it opened, and could not find a positive thing to say about the bar/restaurant. too many polo shirts, too many customers addressing each other as “bro,” too much loud pop music, not enough beer on tap.

Reviews from food critics and regular customers tell a different story.

The new York Times said the experience was ‘worth it’; Serendipity Magazine ranked the Baja Fish Taco the best throughout Westchester and Connecticut; and the restaurant made the cut as one of Westchester’s Magazine’s “Best of Westchester” for 2011. one Yelp user exclaimed that, “the quality of the food is right up there with some of the best Mexican food I’ve had in Westchester.”

I was intrigued enough to try it.

Three friends and I headed to bartaco this past Friday night after calling ahead for a reservation.

“Oh I’m sorry, we only take reservations for parties of 10 or more,” the hostess, amidst a lot of noise, said on the phone.  

“Do you think you will be busy tonight?” I asked.

“Oh yes,” she replied.

When we arrived at 8:30 p.m., people were already hanging around the outside with bottles of beer and cigarettes, enjoying some fresh air away from the crowded bar inside.

The rest of the restaurant was no different – almost every table was full.

Bar Taco is split into three sections. a bar is in the center, bookended by two eating areas. although all are part of the same theme, each has its own feel and tempo. The small dining area to the left (where we sat) is the most formal, with white chairs and tables. Adjacent to the bar area, this section is quiet enough for conversations without getting drowned out by the crowd and the music.

Walking through the opening to the bar, the volume increases two-fold. Loud pop music, margaritas, and mingling make up the scene. With few bar stools and scattered tables, most people were standing.

The outdoor eating area meshes the two inside areas, to create a comfortable lounge with cushioned benches, and footstools, hidden under a canopy of blue umbrellas.

The overall ambiance and décor is an upscale beach shack. The new York Times described the feel as, “Ralph Lauren through a surfers haze.” I might take it a step further. if Hollister and American Eagle decided to get together and open up a restaurant, Bar Taco would be the love child.

The ordering was not typical. Instead of speaking to your waiter or waitress, you grab a golf pencil, a cue card, and check off your dinner selections. Don’t like onions on your tacos? There’s room on the order cards where customers can scribble quick notes to their servers.

Our dinner party got the sample tray of coaster-sized soft-shelled tacos for $33, which included seven or eight different tacos, guacamole, and tamales.

The good: this is the first time I have not run out of guacamole with left over chips; all the tacos were tasty, and exotic; and the tamales were a nice combination of fish, potato, and cheese cocooned in leaf paper. 

The bad: The food came out super quick for a busy night (nine minutes after the order to be exact); our waiter did not tell us the types of tacos we were eating (our fault for not asking); and water glasses remained empty for a while.

The rest of our food came from the ‘not taco’ section. Assorted gorditas (bottle cap-sized fried cakes stuffed with meat and cheese) disappeared quickly. The gazpacho took longer to disappear. (The thick, but not chunky, cold tomato soup acted as an “adios to summer” dish.) even the roasted chicken impressed the table; moist and juicy on the inside with a crispy skin spiced perfectly.

Bartaco is neither bashful, nor elementary when it comes to mixology. a long list of tequilas will sit well with agave aficionados. The variety of mixed drinks will be a welcome sight for everyone from mojito to rum and coke drinkers.

Our table ordered sangria in true Latin fashion. be prepared to pay for the pitchers of wine and juice. You are obligated to purchase a bottle of wine and pay six dollars on top of that for the mixture. (The cheapest option will run you $36)

For dessert, skip the churros – unless you have never tasted a churro before. Chocolate tamales are a bit more original, and gelato will cure your sweet tooth.

As the night went on, the crowd grew in number and shrank in age. When we first arrived, there were plenty of couples and singles over 30, and some into their 50s, enjoying a drink or dinner. by the time we left, the 20-somethings claimed the territory.

Attracting people from Byram, Rye, Greenwich, and beyond, Bar Taco is rarely thin on customers. if you enjoy the bar scene, head there after 9:30 p.m. if you want to go for a quiet sit down meal, lunch is a good option. and if it’s still too crowded for your tastes, a second location is coming soon to Stamford.

For more information on bartaco check out bartaco.com or call (914)-937-TACO.