If you are currently suffering from hemorrhoids you probably can’t believe that anyone can see a lighter side at this time, these embarrassing, rather disgusting, very uncomfortable and often painful swollen veins can only be all bad at this time, being the butt of a hemorrhoid joke just adds insult to injury.
It is said that you know you’re middle–aged when hemorrhoid jokes stop being funny.
However the following are just some lighter side stories that may help you feel better. or, at least, make you understand that your affliction has a wide interest and that you are in the company of many famous people.
The Hemorrhoids are a rock band. Imagine the introduction ladies and gentlemen put your hands – er, cheeks – er, no, hands together for the pride of Lawrence, Kansas, the Hemorrhoids Although their mothers must be very proud of them I’m sure that, depending on your age and musical appreciation, when you listen to them on YouTube, it will be a close call whether the band or the condition is more painful.
Hemorrhoids are part of a song lyric written by Frank Zappa, about among other things, a groupie’s hemorrhoids.
But at least it’s not the only subject of the song. a folk musician, by the name of Peter Cross actually wrote a whole song about hemorrhoids. His fans, who probably aren’t suffering from hemorrhoids, regularly request the song. If you are interested you can find the lyrics on his web site. and you can sing along
Bleeding hemorrhoids made at least two classical composers miserable. consider this diary entry from the great Giacomo Meyerbeer from 1851: Friday 23 may. I suffered all day from a cramping, diarrhetic condition that affected me badly, as did back and side pains. I suspect that these symptoms, which so often recur, are a sign of hemorrhoids.
Not much progress had been made on hemorrhoid treatment as, about a half-century later, Gustav Mahler had them, too. (1900) also brought Mahler’s resignation from the (Vienna) Philharmonic and a frightening hemorrhoid-related incident in which he lost a great deal of blood.
According to a review hemorrhoids are also a real problem for drummers. Hours and hours of sitting on a little stool and pounding away at the drums. plus all that constipating bar food is altogether not a good combination for hemorrhoids
Beyonce’s little sister, Solange, Tweeted that she doesn’t know how to spell hemorrhoids. she probably wouldn’t make it to the second round of the Spelling Bee, and if she needed hemorrhoid treatment, she probably wouldn’t want to sit down when she lost
Hemorrhoid ointment is featured in a Jimmy Buffett novel, Where is Joe Merchant? a rock star goes missing and his hemorrhoid-ointment heiress sister wants to know for sure if he’s dead. really I didn’t make this bizarre stuff up – Jimmy Buffett did
If you have hemorrhoids, you have something in common with some very famous people. Napoleon Bonaparte, the French Emperor, had such severe hemorrhoids that he couldn’t sit on his horse and command his army at the Battle of Waterloo Historians may debate that the weather, overconfidence, and miscommunication with field generals caused Napoleon’s defeat – but hemorrhoid sufferers know better. who knows how history may have been changed if Napoleon didn’t have piles?
George Brett, the star player of the Kansas City Royals, unfortunately had a severe hemorrhoid flare up which caused him to miss parts of the 1980 World Series with the Phillies Fans were surprised, because George was only 27 at the time. some even offered home remedies ranging from eating orange peel and whole wheat to applying Listerine to the hemorrhoids Needless to say, George opted for surgery.
Even American presidents have not been immune from this condition and in 1992, President Jimmy Carter underwent surgery to get rid of his hemorrhoids.
And finally, besides an anthrax infection, a cut eyeball, kidney trouble, a torn groin muscle and a broken arm from a car accident, Ernest Hemingway, the famous writer also suffered from hemorrhoids
But(t) If your hemorrhoids are past being a joke, or you can’t see the lighter side, there are fortunately a number of ways in which you can get relief from the symptoms and also find some completely natural cures.